Friends

Dear St. Patrick, thank you for inventing Ireland, home of the red-heads, and putting them all in one convenient island where they can't get away, and intoxicating them so that they are easily seduced. Please take this potato as an offering of my gratitude. Amen.

Current Mood: silly

First off... happy BDay to Julie! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Second off, just as a gentle reminder... we're having a con and we've blown a lot of money on it. Thanks to all of you who've gotten your tickets ahead of time... as for the rest of you who want to have fun, what're ya waiting for? ;)

It's gonna be a blast and I can't wait!

http://www.trannyconcubines.com/minicon

Hope to see everyone there!

( Cut to spare everyone the length. )

Current Mood: lonely

I just finished a conversation with Patrick.

Patrick was one of the guys I was considering dating way back in October. I decided not to since he had just gotten out of a four-year relationship.

He told me he had been interested in dating then, but didn't seem too thrilled about doing it now. We talked online for a bit, and we came to the consensus that my choice to not let myself grow up was what really detracted him from me. He asked if I'd be willing to just let myself be an adult, and I told him "No". He simply responded by saying he could not handle that. So, we mutually (although unspokenly) decided not to try anything.

It kind of brought together a worry I've had for a while. I know in previous posts I may have hinted that I've lost the ability to love anyone. Now I've complicated it all by being unable to grow up for someone.

I don't even know what being grown up means anymore. I see so many adults act like selfish brats, I feel entitled to acting like one myself. I feel like I've grown up in reverse. I remember teachers, clergy, and parents always commenting at how mature I was for my age. Now I've been acting more bratty and selfish than ever.

The worst part was when Patrick said that my decision not to date him because he might have been on a rebound was a very intelligent, very mature decision that most guys don't follow. And he did not understand why I couldn't be that way all the time. I was honest and told him I rather not be like that at all. It's not what I'm about.

I can't say whether Patrick or I would have worked out, but I would have loved a chance with him. The worst part is, I feel we could have lasted longer than Pooka and I lasted.

I'm very happy gay marriage is going on right next door to my home state of Virginia. But now I know I can't ever tie any knots when I'm not willing to learn how to tie my own shoe first.

Current Mood: aggravated